Sub Vision: It has been a while...

 

It had been a while. A school year had dissolved away, a new one had come and gone, and now another starts, with fresh plans and hopes to be a comeback to old times schooling, where kids are in an actual building. However, it may not happen after all...

In a shoe store, a young woman looked at me trying to figure out behind her mask, and mine, if I am the substitute teacher she remembers. I realized she was a student at my favorite school, a graduate of the class of 2020, the class that did not have graduation, at least not a conventional one. I worked with these students since their 9^th grade. Most know me, and I know many by name and face.

It was a bittersweet reminder of other times; times when I tried hard to handle crowded classrooms, every so often just thankful for being able to keep them safe within the classroom walls. On fortunate occasions, though, I enjoyed being able to bring clarity to a confusing subject, or, better, discuss topics of the day, politics, character, future plans, thus watching these students mature from freshmen to seniors.

It also reminded me to check on the status of my application to return back to work.

When I checked on my application, I was told they are still busy filling full time teachers’ positions, and would not get to substitute teachers until the fall. It prompted me to ask the unthinkable question: “Do you need me as a full time math teacher?”

Did I mean it? Truthfully, I don’t know. I still feel I missed my calling, being the good teacher I meant to be; clearing misunderstandings associated with math, making it easy. There were too few occasions in which I was able to be that teacher, so many obstacles on the way: huge class size, unacceptable discipline criteria, unclear learning material, lack of a uniform standard defining a goal.

So… in the hypothetical occasion in which a school calls and asks me, I mean – pleads with me, to go back to teaching, here is my answer: I will do it! I will teach any student of any level, but on two conditions: First – I do not deal with discipline problems. Students who don’t want to learn cannot disrupt others. Second – I teach my way, using basic, clear, easy material of my own choosing, reserving complicated, challenging problems for the capable and or motivated students only.

If you are a school that agrees to these conditions – I am in!

Sub Vision: Mathematics Again

After many months of staying home, enjoying a flexible time and trying to fill this period with different activities, I find myself drawn toward math again. My first project, creating a program for learning and teaching algebra, is done, waiting for me to decide if I want to advertise or publish it, and now I am debating what will be my next project. Remarkably, mathematics still appeals to me...                      

I am looking at my college ‘intermediate algebra’ book, the equivalent of high school algebra II, and thinking I should keep on developing algebra, continue to trigonometry and maybe even get to calculus. Crazy… I know…

Maybe it is just that I am a frustrated math teacher, who was never able to use her full potential as a teacher. I am not as good with math as I am good in explaining math; maybe because I understand what other people don’t understand.

My, relatively, short teaching career is a sequence of unsuccessful experiences with unmotivated, unwilling and undisciplined students. The whole literature of how to become a good teacher, acquired during my teaching credentials program, proved to be completely useless, and rather aggravating. The philosophy that throws all responsibility on teachers, and the system that allows students not to do their work, or pay attention or even just be quiet, system that does not require students to be responsible for their materials, or even bear the consequences of having no skills by 12^th grade, make it impossible for teachers to do their job.

My only satisfying school job was teaching a Pre-Calculus class. It was my hardest assignment, as I was not familiar with the material, challenged to the top of my knowledge, but it was also my finest. Students did want to learn. They knew they needed to put an effort to get where they wanted to be; they did their work, came up with good questions, and kept asking until they understood. And when they did, there was a sparkle in their eyes, and they did appreciate it.

Looking back, perhaps I should have invested more effort in becoming an advanced level math teacher, working with motivated students, bringing the light to their eyes. As it is now, I can expand my knowledge and understanding, taking advantage of the time I have, and hope to be able to use it sometime in the future...

                                          

Sub Vision: Graduation 2020

 

It had been a rough year of pandemic and political turmoil... a year that I would have liked to be in a classroom, serving as the educator I wanted to be…

Through the first semester of the 2019-20 school year, before the pandemic had started, I knew that soon I will have to choose my approach to work. It was good to have preferred schools, and be their preferred substitute, yet I wished to be able to select only assignments that I desire and not compromise with schools’ terms.

I realized that while deciding on a new path, retirement seem a reasonable option; quitting and waiting out the cooling period of six months, and then returning to jobs that I prefer to do. But the routine kept me going…

It all came to a halt when we were hit by the pandemic, and with almost no warning schools have closed their doors. As we thought it was temporary and will be over soon, we waited for few weeks, then few months, but as graduation came closer we realized that this is the way 2019-20 school year will be manifested.

It was exciting, yet heart breaking, to see graduation turn into a parade of cars, and diplomas handed through a window. I can imagine seniors’ disappointment staying home instead of becoming kings and queens of the campus, enjoying special activities, festivities, recognition. Exceptional and memorable graduation as it was, never has been like that, never (hopefully) will be, it was an agonizing letdown.  

As summer was drawing to an end and virtual learning seemed to be the only way, I decided the time is right to quit and wait for a better time to be a teacher, or a sub.

I still love teaching math, and still wish one day to be able to show the light to those confused math learners, who say they’ll never understand the subject.

During the long months of staying home I developed a plan for teaching algebra in a logical, commonsense method, with the expectation of using it one day through the right channel, private of established.

I do hope to get back to a school, even only as a volunteer, to do just that …